The Weekly Donut 7/06

Get ready to indulge in all things food news...

America shoves hot dogs down its throat for fun

With everything going on in the world, you'd be damned if you thought 'Murica would cancel our hot dog eating contest! But there were precautions taken at this year's Nathan's Hot Dog event... There were no spectators at the event (which idk if that makes it more or less awkward for the competitors) and plexiglass was set up between the contestants, because eating 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes is totally better for your body than coronavirus. Joey Chestnut broke his previous record and earned his 13th hot dog eating title, but he should have been disqualified for not knowing how to properly wear a mask. And I just can't watch this because the last time I had a hot dog was in first grade for hot lunch and I immediately threw up the hot dog into my cute donut patterned lunch box.

The future of food

Just like health officials are telling us that a coronavirus vaccine will be readily available in early 2021, apparently so will mass produced 3D-printed steaks. Redefine Meat, a startup company, is somehow printing vegan steaks by replicating layers of the meat with "alt-muscle," "alt-fat," and "alt-blood." We don't really understand how it works but we do know that 50% of Americans say they won't get a coronavirus vaccine and 0% of Americans say they would eat this.

Pop(corn) Culture

Why food great till I gotta lose weight

Lizzo's gone vegan, which has her feeling "very lit and full." The singer took to TikTok to document her new diet and workout plan, including plant based proteins and jumping rope. As she's embarked on this journey, she also told her haters to fudge off and leave her and her body alone. Other stars like Rebel Wilson and Ariel Winter have decided to use their quarantine to get fit and like, can't relate. Meanwhile, I've watched 8 episodes of The Real Housewives of New York today while eating a family sized bag of Sheila G's Brownie Brittle and cursing Bethenny Frankel's SkinnyGirl brand between bites.

Unpopular Opinion: Yellow Gatorade is gross

But Serena Williams is the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time- please forgive me for spelling that out, my grandma is my most loyal reader and I want her to understand it!). The tennis star teamed up with Gatorade to create a limited edition bottle. Serena, who is also known for bringing fashion to the courts, decided on a variety of neon colors and a hidden message to adorn the bottle. If you look closely, you'll be able to see the word "STRONG" spelled out, which is very fitting for the 39 Grand Slam title holder. The Serena x Gx bottle retails for $24.99, but we're still saving our money for the Nike Blazer Mid Off-White Wolf Grey Serena "Queen" kicks.

Fast Food Frenzy

Think outside the yum

There's a Taco Bell-themed literary journal and I am pissed I didn't come up with this. Taco Bell Quarterly is coming out with a third volume, and I will personally be reaching out to the editor to pitch several stories. Like the time my dad and I drove around to 5 different locations on free Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos Tuesday and dressed up a couch pillow in the back seat with a cardigan and hat so we could get an extra free taco at each location. True story bro. In other Taco Bell news, Karens are mad about not being able to get their free Chalupa Cravings Box. The fast-food superior is also offering $1 Nacho Crunch Double Stacked Tacos for a limited time and just debuted a Grilled Cheese Burrito.

Postmates who?

Uber announces that it's acquiring Postmates with a $2.65 billion all-stock deal. With coronavirus threatening Uber, the company seems to be going all in on the food delivery side of their business. With many restaurants still doing take-out only and people feeling uncomfortable going out to eat, Uber expects the future of food delivery to gain even more popularity. And if you haven't ordered 20 McDonald's chocolate chip cookies at 2am during quarantine with a delivery fee higher than the total price on Uber Eats, well, then you're a fucking liar.